Plotting Like a Procrastinator: My Weirdest Writing Habits

Look, I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve spent hours “writing” and ended up with a perfectly organized spice rack, a freshly vacuumed basement, and zero words on the page. Talent? Questionable. Relatable? Absolutely.

Plotting like a procrastinator with my novels is less “structured genius” and more “accidental chaos sprinkled with bursts of inspiration at wildly inconvenient times.” And you know what? I’ve made peace with it. I’ve even learned to embrace my weird habits, because—spoiler alert—they work for me. So today I’m pulling back the curtain on my most delightfully strange writing quirks. Fellow procrastinators, this one’s for you.

Created on Canva. I'm not this organized 😂

Plotting Like a Procrastinator or is it a Process? Yes, it is.

There’s a fine, blurry line between procrastinating and processing creative thoughts. For me, they usually look the same: folding laundry while mentally choreographing a dramatic sword fight, deep-diving into Norse mythology “research,” or binge-watching The Dead Files under the guise of “studying ghost psychology.” (It counts, right?)

Some people outline. I marinate. I spiral. I stare out the window like I’m in a moody YA adaptation. But during that “wasted” time, magic is simmering in the background—plot twists, character arcs, killer one-liners. It’s not procrastinating if your brain is secretly doing the work… probably.

Weird Habit #1: Talking to Myself—and My Characters

Yes, I have full-blown conversations with my characters. Yes, I’ve acted out arguments in my kitchen. No, I’m not totally unhinged (probably).

Sometimes I have to hear the dialogue out loud to know if it sounds real—or cringey. I’ve had deep debates with villains, swoon-worthy chats with love interests, and very heated arguments with stubborn main characters who refuse to cooperate (looking at you, Astrid).

My husband has walked in on these solo performances more than once. He doesn’t ask questions anymore. He just backs away slowly with snacks.

Weird Habit #2: Writing the Ending First

Some writers start at the beginning. I often start at “THE END.” I like to know who dies, who kisses, and who gets the dragon. Everything else? Negotiable.

There’s something comforting about writing that explosive final scene first—it’s like planting a flag. I know where I’m headed, even if the journey is full of plot holes, mood swings, and midnight rewrites. Sometimes writing the ending gives me the emotional anchor I need to build the rest of the story. Other times it gives me an excuse to avoid writing chapter one for three months. It’s called balance.

Weird Habit #3: Plotting While Folding Laundry (and Other Mundane Acts of Magic)

Some people meditate. I fold towels and have existential breakthroughs about my villain’s tragic backstory.

I get my best ideas when I’m not writing—usually in the shower, while walking the dog, or mid-grocery run. I’ve been known to whisper plot ideas into my phone at the meat counter. I’ve also scribbled notes on receipts, napkins, and once, my kid’s permission slip (which we still turned in, just with bonus world-building in the margins).

Weird Habit #4: Organizing Chaos with… More Chaos

My plotting “system” looks like a crime wall built by a caffeinated raccoon. I have sticky notes, notebooks (plural), digital files, voice memos, Pinterest boards, and a whiteboard that may or may not be possessed. I do not recommend this method unless you’re cool with hunting for one key plot twist across three apps and a half-used spiral notebook from 2019.

Still, somehow, the chaos clicks. Eventually. It’s like my brain is laying out a jigsaw puzzle with no box image—just a lot of vibes, snacks, and me muttering “aha!” at random intervals.

How It All (Eventually) Comes Together

Despite the madness, the clutter, and the late-night plotting fueled by coffee and panic, I do get the words on the page. Ask the Girl made it. My YA fantasy is getting there. And somehow, these weird little rituals help me inch forward—even when I feel like I’m moving backward.

I used to feel guilty for not writing “the right way.” But honestly? There is no right way. There’s just your way. And mine happens to include talking to myself, plotting in reverse, and treating laundry day like a brainstorming session.

Final Thoughts: Embrace the Weird

If you’re out there plotting your novel with cereal bowls stacked beside your laptop and a soundtrack of self-doubt playing softly in the background—hey, you’re not alone. Your process is valid. Your chaos is creative. Your story will come together, even if it takes a few detours (and maybe a few clean closets).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go argue with a dragon who’s suddenly refusing to be tamed. Again.

💬 Your Turn!

What are your weirdest writing habits or procrastination quirks? Drop them in the comments—I need to feel less alone. 😉